December

To think of it December has never ever been good to me. I've been through December getting over relationships, Decembers when my relationship go downhill. Maybe cause it's the last month of the year, the end of all those that's not worth it.

Just had a pouring-out-my-heart session with G. It's not very awesome. I hate crying, I sound terrible when I do that. But it makes me think how much it meant to me, cause I actually felt something. At the same time, I feel disgusted that I want this to work so badly. Why can't I be like the boys? Everything also relax, wait till I lose it then I reflect. Sigh, I wanna be a guy soooooooo badly.

I'm gonna give it a go, for the last time. I really hope you won't take this lightly again, prove to me it means something to you too. This last chance cherish it, fully, please. I don't wanna let go, I don't wanna give up. Please don't leave me with no choice.


I know I'm not any better. Let's work all our problems out together okay? Make it all worthwhile.